Who You Are and Who You Want to Be—How to Finally Align the Two
Stop chasing goals that don’t fit who you are today. Learn why identity alignment creates sustainable growth and how to bridge the gap between your current self and future vision.
I used to set goals that looked impressive on paper.
Launch a course. Hit $10K months. Build a six-figure business.
But here’s what I didn’t account for: the version of me setting those goals wasn’t the same version who had to show up every day to achieve them.
I’d map out these ambitious plans, then wonder…
Why I’d self-sabotage halfway through?
Why I’d procrastinate on the very things I said I wanted?
Why momentum felt impossible to sustain?
It took me a long time to see it, but my problem wasn’t effort or strategy.
It was because I was setting goals for a future version of me who didn’t exist yet… and that unseen gap between who you are and who you want to be is where most goals die.
Here’s the framework that changed everything for me:
The Identity Alignment Model
Your future goals must align with your current identity, and you need to intentionally bridge the gap between the two.
Most people set goals based on outcomes they want.
More money.
More freedom.
More recognition.
But they skip the most important question: Who do I need to become to make this goal actually happen?
Because here’s the truth: you won’t sustain what doesn’t match who you believe you are.
If you see yourself as “someone who’s bad with consistency,” you’ll abandon the daily writing habit.
If you identify as “not a salesperson,” you’ll avoid promoting your work—even when it could help people.
If you think, “I’m not tech-savvy,” you’ll put off building that digital product for months.
Your identity is the operating system. Your goals are just apps trying to run on it. When there’s a mismatch, the system crashes.
The Identity-Goal Bridge
After my husband died, I had to rebuild everything.
My sense of self.
My confidence.
My belief that I could create something meaningful again.
I didn’t jump straight into “build a thriving business.” That goal would have crushed me. Instead, I started with a goal that matched who I was at that moment: Show up and write one thing, once a week. That version of me? She could do that.
…and as I proved to myself I could show up consistently, my identity slowly shifted. I wasn’t just “someone trying to write.” I became “someone who writes every week.” Then “someone who helps others through writing.” Then “someone who runs a business built on consistency and growth.”
Each small identity shift unlocked the next level of goals. I didn’t force myself to become someone I wasn’t. I built evidence that I was becoming her.
Where Most People Get Stuck
The most common sabotage pattern I see is what I call taking the leap without the bridge.
You set a goal that requires an identity you haven’t built yet, like launching a paid product when you still see yourself as “just learning.”
The gap between who you are and who the goal needs you to be creates massive internal resistance. You’re not lazy. You’re experiencing identity friction.
Then there’s the borrowed identity trap. You chase someone else’s version of success without asking if it fits you. Their goal requires their personality, their strengths, and their season of life.
Yours might need something completely different. So you end up exhausted trying to become someone you were never meant to be.
Finally, there’s the static self-image. You anchor to an old story about who you are, even as you’ve already changed. “I’m not the kind of person who...” becomes a cage you’ve outgrown but haven’t noticed you have the key to unlock.
Here’s what you can do today:
Implementation Step: The Identity Audit
Pick one goal you’ve been struggling with.
Write it down.
Now ask yourself: Who would I need to be for this goal to feel easy and natural?
Not “what skills do I need” — that comes later. This is about identity.
If your goal is to sell a digital product, maybe the identity is “I’m someone who confidently shares value and asks for the sale.”
If your goal is to grow your newsletter, maybe it’s “I’m someone who shows up consistently and trusts my voice matters.”
Now look at the gap between that identity and who you are today. That gap isn’t a failure. It’s your roadmap.
Ask yourself: What’s one small action I could take this week that would give me evidence I’m becoming this person?
Maybe it’s writing one post where you make an offer without apologizing. Maybe it’s publishing on schedule, even if it’s imperfect. Maybe it’s calling yourself “a creator” out loud for the first time.
Small identity shifts. Repeated over time… and that’s how you build alignment.
Why This Matters Now
We’re taught to dream big. To set audacious goals. To aim higher. But no one talks about the identity work required to sustain those goals once the initial excitement fades.
That’s why so many people start strong and quit quietly.
It’s not a motivation problem. It’s an alignment problem.
When your goal and your identity are in sync, the work doesn’t feel like a constant uphill battle. It feels like the natural next step.
You’re not forcing yourself to be someone you’re not. You’re stepping into who you’re already becoming.
You don’t have to become someone completely different to grow. You just have to become someone who believes the next version of you is already on the way.
Because you are. Every action you take that aligns with your future self proves you’re already building yourself, one choice at a time.
Ready to Evolve Your Skills and Unlock Your Next Identity?
If you’re serious about turning what you know into income—and building the identity of someone who creates, ships, and sells with confidence—the Sell Your Skills System walks you through the entire process.
You’ll learn how to package your knowledge, build a simple product, and make your first sales without feeling sleazy or inauthentic. It’s designed for people who are ready to stop overthinking and start building evidence that they’re someone who earns from what they know.
Just the system that works.
Enroll in Sell Your Skills: From Zero to Sales here →
Here’s the question I’ll leave you with:
What would change if you started making decisions today as the person you’re becoming — not the person you used to be?
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“The best way to predict the future is to create it.” — Peter Drucker
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